Mr. Mittens Quasi-reputable news outlets across social media have analyzed the 2016 presidential election and determined the biggest reasons for Trump’s victory. Orange Stripe compiled a list of commonly used explanations and tried to remove the pairs of that were inconsistent, but that was too hard to do, so instead we just listed the reasons people say Trump won. This list is perfect for finding groups of people to understand better so that the next election isn’t such a disaster. But it’s also really good for finding people to blame. Feel free to review the list and assign blame to whichever groups most conveniently align with your prior beliefs.
-White supremacists.
-Misogynists.
-Gay people who voted for Trump.
-Homophobes.
-Islamaphobes.
-Muslim people who voted for Trump.
-The 42% of women who voted for Trump.
-Minorities who didn’t vote.
-Hillary Clinton for being so unlikable.
-Joe Biden for not running.
-Republicans for not finding a better opponent for Clinton to go up against -actually scratch that.
-Conservatives who continued to vote for their political party even though they hated Trump.
-Liberals who didn’t voted for their political party because they hated Clinton.
-The 40% of eligible voters who didn’t vote.
-Millennials who didn’t vote.
-[Another trigger-word social group] who didn’t vote.
-Poor people.
-Corrupt rich people.
-The fed up middle class.
-The media for giving Trump too much airtime.
-The media for not making a big enough deal about Trump.
-The rise of open concept kitchens.
-Florida.
-The DNC for giving Hillary an edge.
-Celebrities who didn’t come out and support Hillary.
-Celebrities who used their money and influence to sway the election.
-Celebrities who encouraged people to vote in a general sense without knowing if that would contribute to more Trump votes.
-[Any other trigger-word social group] who didn’t vote.
-The Russians.
-Genetically Modified Organisms.
-People not like you.
Hurray! Now you’ve made sense of the election and have no culpability for what happened.
