Today Orange Stripe would like to show you how to be an awesome parent and make breakfast for your kids. As a parent it’s your job to raise your kids so they can learn valuable skills and use their imaginations to solve complex problems in new and creative ways. It’s also your job to feed them. So don’t blow it!
We’re going to make two types of pancakes. The first is called Surgeon Adventure Pancakes. You’ll need:
While the sausages cooks go ahead and make your pancake batter. I use the Krusteaz brand because I found it in my cupboard and that’s a reason.
Pour batter onto whatever you’re using to make pancakes, and then place a few of the sausage bits into the pancakes. Some people will recognize this as pigs in a blanket. We’re calling it shrapnel in vital organs because this is surgery training for your kids. Listen up, it’s a crazy world out there and chances are your kids is going to be involved in a shootout one day and so they’ll need to know how to pull a bullet out of someone’s butt. You can either accept that fact now and teach them, or let them learn how to do this when the time comes. Or let them learn on the playground. Do you want to do that to your kid? Of course not. You want them to be able to pull a slug like a pro. So let’s continue.
Make sure that one of the pancakes doesn’t have any shrapnel in it. That will be the top layer.
Next thing you want to do is cut a hole in some of the pancakes and fill it with either strawberry syrup or blood. This will serve as a vital organ or artery. If your kid cuts into the hole, then the artery will immediately start hemorrhaging and they will need to act quickly to address the wound. There are a few methods for creating arteries but for starters I recommend picking one spot and cutting out a hole through all of the pancakes. (As your child gets better you can add more holes or put the holes in only certain layers, not all of the way through. Putting holes in certain layers gives the pancake challenge a three dimensional aspect. If you do this, however, make sure your pancakes are fully cooked. If a bottom layer of an artery well is too spongy it will absorb all of the blood in the hole.)
Once you’ve got your artery cut, go ahead and lay the regular pancake over it and give it to your kid to play with.
Have a sanitation bowl nearby and start off very encouraging on their first few attempts.
As they get better, you can begin dimming the lights and screaming at them to mimic the real life pressures they will inevitably face in just a few short years.
The next pancakes we’re going to make is for your little engineer, the Spaceship Adventure Pancakes. For this you need:
-Sausage (or bacon)
-Something small and wing-like
Cook a pancake and stick a sausage on top. Then cut a banana in half and stick some small wing-like things into it. Those are going to be the wings. Now you have a spaceship for your kid to play with. The great thing about this adventure is that your kid will eat it so you don’t have to step on it later on that night in the dark like all of his other toys.
When the space ship is ready to lift off you can use whip cream to make the exhaust.
If you don’t want your kid eating all that whipped cream then feel free to slap on some butter or greek yogurt instead.
Okay great you’re an amazing person now.