Michael’s computer makes games look like they came out in 1996

September 5, 2016
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Guests were in for a big surprise during last Friday’s LAN party when Michael showed up. Not only had the 16-year-old visibly ironed his basketball shorts, he brought with him a PC that challenged their belief of what was possible.  Michael’s computer could take graphically gorgeous games and make them look like they came out in 1996.  This discovery occurred after friend Chad went over to help Michael turn on his computer, which regularly crashed 15 seconds in to the start up sequence.  When the computer finally booted up Michael began playing Rocket League with graphics that looked like they were from a pre-Fast and Furious world.  Chad fell to tears at the PC’s attempt to render the game.

The image on the left shows what most Rocket League players see when they play the game.  The image on the right appeared on Michael’s screen. (Zoom in to truly grasp the difference.)

sideways goal both

Not only had the detailed models devolved into impressionistic ghosts of their former selves, the PC couldn’t fathom the complicated lighting effects hitting the field.  So it didn’t even try.  And like the memory of a fraternity pledge on St. Patrick’s day, the PC could barely remember a fraction of the colors it was supposed to show on screen.

At least the game’s performance was spared, as it ran at a stunning 10 frames per second.

overshoulder goal both


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