Oh sure, America! You care about the truth now. But where was your concern for truth back in 2012 when you thought the world was going to end because a bunch of hippies said a planet was going to crash into the Earth despite the fact that there was no scientific evidence a planet was going to crash into Earth? Unbelievable. It seems a little too convenient start caring about the truth after you’ve been using homeopathic remedies and magic healing crystals for years, just because the epitome of everything you stand against has received broad executive powers and the ability to impact domestic and foreign policy for generations to come. I mean really, you had no problem letting the film Gravity off the hook despite numerous scientific inaccuracies, but the moment I say a former president of the United States had my wires tapped in Trump Tower without any evidence, suddenly plausibility matters to you.
Why wasn’t there a bigger outcry when Jurassic World showed scaly dinosaurs instead of scientifically accurate feathered dinosaurs? You were totally cool with that since it helped with the narrative continuity between the other films. But when I claimed the new health care bill wasn’t a total pile of shit, that was one assumption you thought was too dangerous to go along with. Just because AARP, the American Medical Association, the Association of American Medical Colleges, and a bunch of experts hated it, you couldn’t just take my word for it that it was good? Come on, America, we all know what’s really going on.
The greedy fact barons at the New York Times and the Washington Post are trying to get you to buy more newspapers. It’s really sad actually. It’s all about the money for them; they just want you to buy their facts. That’s why they and the rest of the media have all got their fact checking cronies out there being really mean to Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway, who are really outstanding people, to force those two to make up evidence on the spot when asked to support their views, rather than politely listening to what they have to say. Rude! (or sick!)
To all my supporters, thank you. Don’t listen to the truth junkies, fact collectors, and evidence-worshiping pagans out there. These co-conspirators of reality are horrible people, and should be tried for treason for infringing upon states’ rights to decide what reality is for themselves.
If it’s okay for people to lie to their kids about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, I don’t see what’s wrong with me saying I had the biggest Electoral College victory since Ronald Reagan, and that I won with 306 votes. Sad!