Chris Christie writes Santa, asks for sweet Cabinet position

November 21, 2016
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An email leak in Governor Chris Christie’s office recently revealed¬†the following letter to Santa Claus seeking help landing a Cabinet position with the Trump administration. This comes as the second watershed moment of the email leak, following the discovery that Christie passed up an 86% savings on renewing his Popular Mechanics subscription despite receiving 1,900 emails reminding him about it. Christie’s letter to Santa, in its entirety, is as follows:

Dear Santa,
Hey it’s me your pal Chris. I hope you’re well. This Christmas it would mean a lot to me if you could get me a sweet Cabinet position with Donald Trump. I know you two have got to be close. I’m pretty open to any position as long as it doesn’t suck, like Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. To help you out I’ve made a list of my top picks. Ideally I’d like to be Vice President but I guess something would have to happen to Mike Pence in order for that to happen wink wink.

Most wanted:
-Secretary of State
-Secretary of Trolling China
-Secretary of the Law
-Secretary of Reminding People about 9/11
-Secretary of NASA
-Secretary of Transportation
-Secretary of being the White House Photographer

My approval ratings are tanking pretty hard right now so if you can get back to me asap I’d really appreciate it.

Your Friend,

Chris Christie Santa