Million-Man March Attended Only By 999,999

November 19, 2015
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The residents in and around DC made a mediocre public display on November 10th, attempting but ultimately failing to bring any attention to remnant racism in the United States. Anonymous public official Mike Huckabee comments: “Oh, well I mean we were going to do something about all of this inordinate racial profiling and police brutality, but with only 999,999 supporters there’s a clear lack of interest in policy reform. We can’t just go around granting tax cuts for the middle class and regulating illicit banking every time someone comes around with almost-a-million marchers.” The protesters were observed gathering in front of the Washington Monument the morning of the 10th, amassing nearly to a noteworthy size. However, a quick head count revealed that one member hadn’t shown up. The march was immediately canceled.


(Illustration by Cyrus)